WYN FOUNTAIN
"If you want to travel fast, travel alone.
If you want to travel far, travel together with others"
(An old African proverb)
We've got a long way to go, let's travel together.
WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
It is one thing to diagnose the weaknesses of our Western local church culture; it is another thing to prescribe remedies. But there is a world-wide movement today that is attempting to do just that. It is the small group movement.
For several decades now various experiments have been made. Some churches have been disappointed and others are enthusiastic. The following suggestions are made as a result of personal experience in making small groups provide the needs of believers.
The essential feature of this booklet is an urgent plea to give members of the Body of Christ opportunity to have a face to face relationship with others, so that they may become "members of one another" in reality and not just in theory.
WHY AREN'T PEOPLE GOING TO CHURCH THESE DAYS?
We are not where we were fifty years ago; atheism has lost its appeal. It is important to recognise the significance of post modernism and the consequent return to spirituality. It involves the rejection of the anti-supernaturalism of the Enlightenment and scientific materialism. But if there is a hunger for spiritual reality, why are the crowds not returning to their Christian roots? The short answer is, because they are not attracted to what they see as the main expression of the Christian faith, the church service. The reason for that is that very little provision is made in the services for people to be real about their lives, problems, hopes and aspirations in the services of the churches. They major on belief and forms of worship, rather than on the pressing circumstances of life.
We need to expand on that a little before we talk about small groups.
We have entered a period of intense spirituality The Muslim zeal to conquer the world and impose Sharia law everywhere is a sign of the times. Voltaire was away off the mark when he said that since God was now dead, religion would die. Nietsche on the other hand saw more clearly the true position when he declared that since God was dead someone would have to come up with an alternative to Christianity. It has taken many years but post- modernism is attempting to do just that in the West. The Hippie movement tried eastern religions. Now inquiry into the supernatural is endemic. Why isn't the Western world turning to Christ?
There are several reasons. The main one being that as we draw nearer to the return of Jesus Christ, the enemy of souls, the Devil, is doing his utmost to thwart the purposes of God. He knows better than anyone does that his time is coming to an end.
The REFORMATION was hijacked by the ENLIGHTENMENT and thinking men were encouraged to believe that if the church was wrong in some things maybe it is wrong altogether. The Devil whispered once again, "Hath God said?"
Then in came DARWIN to give a welcome explanation of our evolution without God.
Man's belief in himself and his own creativity began to know no bounds.
MARX then developed Sir Thomas More's concept of Utopia, a man-made counterfeit and substitute for the Kingdom of God on earth. Human optimism regarding the progress of mankind made any belief in God appear to be superfluous. Religions of all brands were treated with disdain. Communism used violence in order to eradicate them. The universities of the West used more subtle means of ridicule and rational argument.
But, THE OPTIMISM OF THE ENLIGHTENMENT HAS BEEN SERIOUSLY CHALLENGED.
Two world wars and the dreadful holocausts committed by communists everywhere and more lately by the behaviour of dictators around the world has demonstrated that hopes of man's progress through scientific inquiry were ill founded. The spirit of man craves for a spiritual reality. Out of this scene has arisen the New Age movement. Mankind has come full circle and is beginning to realise that we need a point of reference outside of ourselves. The spirit craves for such a relationship. The anti-supernatural period has been short-lived, historically speaking. We cannot afford to underestimate this phenomenon.
The revival of miracles around the world has met man's craving in this day and age.
But right there we run into trouble.
The enemy is desperately aware of every advance in the kingdom of God and instead of opposing this revival he tells us, "Yes this is the essence of religion". It is not. The essence of spiritual life is COMMUNION, REVELATION AND OBEDIENCE.
COMMUNION. Not something we do once a week, but a daily walking in God's presence.
REVELATION. Hearing the voice of God, so that we might know His will for us.
OBEDIENCE to that revelation, which requires the exercise of a lively conscience.
God does intervene in the natural course of things to work miracles in order to demonstrate his power and love and encourage us to seek that communion and the revelation of his will so that by our behaviour we will glorify his name. However, even Jesus did not work miracles all day, every day, week after week. We cannot dictate to God when he must create a miracle, though we are free to ask for one. Even Paul, who saw many miracles, was called upon to exercise his faith when no miracle happened. Read II Corinthians 11:26/27 to see how many times Paul could have done with a miracle or two. Miracles happen, but don't let us judge the depth of our spirituality in either our daily lives or our church services by the number of miracles.
We are called to run a race, to fight a good fight but we are not called to run that race and fight that fight alone. No man is an island. We are encouraged to "be members one of another" Eph. 4:25. Paul goes to great lengths in I Cor.12, expounding on this. Is the reason why people are not attracted to the churches, because they do not see anything different about us? Do they fail to witness this unity in membership "one of another"? Can they find greater fellowship in their clubs, down at the R.S.A. or the Bowling Club? There is a deep need in all of us to belong in a way that embraces the whole of life in our spirituality, where there is no division between the sacred and the secular. The local churches rarely provide such relationship.
Now I can immediately hear a howl of protest from a thousand pastors. But I am sorry; they are under a delusion. They say that they are encouraging their members to be spiritually alive seven days a week, but I will repeat, for example, what I have written in other booklets. How many of them will send their teachers to a mission school overseas with a special commissioning service, but never think of doing so for teachers in a local school? The message comes through loud and clear that at home it is secular work. There IS a deep-rooted division between secular and sacred in our church culture.
I heard a Muslim being interviewed on BBC. The interviewer said, "Do you really believe that Islam will conquer the world?". "Yes, of course", said the Muslim. "Why" asked the interviewer, "Because Islam is not just a religion, it is a way of life that connects people to God in every aspect of life, Christianity is not like that, it divides between the sacred and the secular". That is the result of Greek influence on Christianity, not Christ's.
IS THE CHURCH EQUAL TO THE CHALLENGE?
It is not, because church leaders are asking the wrong questions. They are asking, "How do we run the healthy church?", "How can we build the church of Jesus Christ?" Meaning the local churches, as though the Kingdom of God consists of the sum total of the membership of local churches. When the question is asked, "How do we promote the Kingdom of God?" the answer is "By getting people saved and into the churches."
Search the New Testament from cover to cover and you will see no command to build local churches such as we have today. What you will see is, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things shall be given unto you" and an injunction, "Do not forsake the assembling of yourselves together". Since Constantine, large structures have been built, but these do not build the Kingdom of God in society.
Wesley, being forced out of the church, laid aside the historic structure and the Greek dichotomy, set up thousands of small groups and taught the converts to embrace creation. These people transformed Britain. They "discipled the nations" by demonstrating the kingdom of God in the mines, hospitals, schools, hospitals and factories. The churches opposed the move of God, which Wesley had to take outside the structure. His small groups proved to be no mere gimmick, but the natural way of discipling nations. What was the secret of success? It was the opportunity they provided of being "members one of another", bringing the exigencies of life into the fellowship rather than fellowshipping with the back of the head in front of them.
The New Testament instructs us to disciple the nations, but not what structure to set up. We have had the liberty to experiment. Are our experiments succeeding? When the majority of the population ignores the local churches and many believers have joined them, we are forced to ask ourselves, is the experiment succeeding? When we are honest enough to admit that in spite of many large churches, society by and large is self-destructing and is not looking to the churches for the answers, we have to admit that we are not succeeding and therefore must ask ourselves why not? The countries such as China where the church is spreading are doing so in the New Testament pattern of small groups. One Chinese leader was asked if he would like to see the missionaries return. His answer was, "No, not if they are going to bring back the style of church they brought before".
Every church leader wants to see change in society, but not if it means things have got to be too different in his church. Change is very threatening. The kingdom of God embraces the whole of life seven days a week. Instead of being consumed with church activities and growth we should be consumed with bringing everything in life into the embrace of the Kingdom of God, starting with sex, marriage, family life, teenage relationships, work and creativity, recreation and government etc. Let's make the home the centre of our spirituality, not the church structure. The church celebrations are merely a means to an end, not an end in themselves. The churches do not equate with the Kingdom of God. That starts in the home first, not the church. It starts in bed and then the dining room table, then work and the wider community.
Salt is supposed to make people thirsty, but not many people appear to be thirsty for what we have. Yet there is a huge spiritual hunger. Why does only a small proportion of the population attend church? The "Salt of the earth" is not making people thirsty. In a Post-modern age of spirituality, when the anti-supernatural forces of the enlightenment have been rejected and people are looking for New Age spiritual reality, one might reasonably expect that people would be returning to the roots of Western civilisation, Christianity, but they are not. Why do they see the local church as irrelevant? Because it is superficial. Normally, people want to belong to a family or group where they can open up about things that are important to them. Fellowshipping with the back of the head in front is not attractive. Services that only give opportunity for expression to two people, the worship leader and the pastor, do not satisfy the basic desire of the members to be involved in the communication between those with whom he or she is in fellowship. In the traditional church service of whatever denomination little provision is made for such communication.
The kind of communication that people are missing is the kind they have in their local club or pub. I belong to our local Probus Club. Most of the members arrive at each meeting about twenty minutes early because they enjoy the fellowship. I also belong to a senior citizens gym class. Everybody arrives on time because they enjoy the fellowship. We have to ask ourselves why that doesn't happen with our churches? I squirm when I think about it.
It is not easy to be in the world but not of it, alone. No man is an island. The bible says that we are "members one of another". Those of us who have friends or relatives, with whom we feel comfortable in an atmosphere of transparency, know the sense of security and strength that we enjoy. Few churches however, provide an environment where each believer can regularly share burdens with others at a deep level and become part of a think-tank for the Kingdom of God. My own personal experience over thirty years has convinced me that small mentoring groups provide this environment best.
Let me explain the difference between mentoring and coaching.
A COACH, as in a sports team, will give direction as to the best way to achieve excellence. He will instruct, correct and rebuke, expecting his team to do as he says. Many pastors see themselves as coaches.
A MENTOR on the other hand will seek to assist the mentoree to arrive at his own conclusions as to the best way to achieve excellence. In the kingdom of God, the mentor's objective is to ask questions and make suggestions endeavouring to assist the mentoree to hear the voice of God for himself and formulate his own plans and strategies. He must avoid allowing the mentoree to become dependent on him. This is diametrically opposed to the leadership of some pastors and disciplers who seek to assert their authority and maintain control.
There has been a world-wide movement toward small groups for several decades. But I have been told by some churches, "Oh, we tried that, but it didn't work".
What follows is a description of a type of small group that I have found successful from experience and I am making some suggestions as to why others may not have worked and what may be done to help small groups become relevant and meaningful.
THE MENTORING GROUP: A NEW/OLD TYPE OF SMALL GROUP.
NEW to most churches, because the type of small group we are promoting is informal, intimate, conversational and deeply related to life where it is lived. The main focus is the lives of the members, not the programme of the church. It is not task oriented around bible study, evangelism, leadership training etc. Its function is centred around experience in life, the resolution of problems that arise and the celebration of victories achieved. It is designed to provide the intimate fellowship that our human nature craves. It seeks to fulfil a serious lack in traditional church environments where very little provision is made for such sharing.
For example, We can attend a church for years without really getting to know people we see every week. In Sunday services we fellowship with the back of the head in front of us. The pastor and worship leaders in front of the church dominate the proceedings. Home Groups that are task oriented around bible study, prayer, teaching or evangelism provide little opportunity for intimate fellowship and the sharing of personal needs and triumphs. Committee Meetings, even elder's and deacon's meetings, are usually devoted to business matters. Any deviation to discuss the personal matters of member's life is likely to be stifled by the chairman with, "Perhaps we should get on with the business."
Even most "Cell groups" are task oriented around evangelism, with church membership as the objective. These are all usually mini-churches dominated by a leader who acts like a mini-pastor following a mini liturgy and their main purpose is to build a "healthy" central church, rather than the lives of the individual members.
OLD because intimate small groups are not new. People have been enjoying such an environment in such places as the "pubs" of Britain, bars and clubs. Sitting opposite their friends, on the other side of a table, without an agenda, they discuss whatever is on their hearts. Important personal issues are dealt with among familiar friends. Many a social and political movement has been spawned in such an environment rather than in the formal lecture room of a university, college or church. The Great Awakening under Wesley that transformed Britain, was the result of small groups. The communist movement was built on small groups. The original basic group of followers of Christ consisted of 12 men. For the first three centuries there were no church buildings. Persecution forced believers to meet in small groups in homes. The re-evangelism of Europe after the fall of Rome was accomplished by small bands of monks that went out from Ireland and successfully took the gospel to the whole of Europe. The spread of Christianity in China and other countries where persecution is the norm has been accomplished mainly by small groups in homes.
Some of the most dynamic periods of church history have occurred during a period when small groups proliferated? Isn't it time we asked ourselves if the clergy dominated services and church structures that we have come to recognise as normal are in fact not normal, but are responsible for the lack of growth of the local churches in Western countries today.
The classic historical Christian example of what can be accomplished through small groups meeting as "members one of another", is the 10,000 or so small groups that Wesley established all over Britain when he was ostracised by the churches. These were intimate groups, not exceeding twelve per group, that stimulated the members to go back into the mines, factories, schools, hospitals and prison s and transform the character of Britain. The most famous of these would be the Clapham Sect. It was not in fact a sect, just a group of about twelve influential men, mainly Anglican, that met frequently in the home of a banker named Thornton in Clapham, London. William Wilberforce, famous for his successful campaign against slavery was one of the members. The people in these small groups transformed the character of Britain. If it happened then it can happen again.
WE ALL NEED MENTORS
No pastor can mentor the whole congregation, but members can mentor each other by meeting regularly in small mentoring groups. This writer has been involved with such groups for thirty years, and has found that people enjoy attending them regularly, putting them very high on their priority list. I have been a member of one during the last decade that has met once a week in the evenings from 8p.m. to 11 p.m. These are busy family men some of whom show no interest in ordinary church house groups, and who find a church service too long if it runs for more than one hour. But they spend three hours in this group. Why? Because of the depth of relationship and involvement in each other's lives, the transparency, the honesty and the sense of security among friends who are caring and accepting of each other when we expose our imperfections, in a way that can never be done in a church service. It is a relationship that extends into the rest of the week, when needed. The aim of the conversation is to mentor each other, helping each one to make his own decisions, but there are occasions when coaching is sought and advice, instruction and direction are welcome. Paul tells us to be subject to one another, which means that we need each other sometimes for instruction, correction or rebuke in love, constructively with a positive outcome in mind.
ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS FOR SUCH A MENTORING GROUP.
1. LEADERSHIP must be held very lightly, irrespective of any appointment that may be made. Leadership will gravitate to the one who is obviously anointed for leadership, respected and trusted because he has a servant spirit. The members must feel that the group is theirs and not his. If he or she tries to impose his or her authority and opinions, it will become known as so-and-so's group. The members then lose ownership. He must lead like a " Horse Whisperer" who trains a horse through gentleness rather than fear or imposed discipline. Authority must be earned and granted not demanded. Leadership is not a matter of status, but of function in servanthood.
Every small group has its own character. The leadership requirements differ. Pastors need to resist the inclination toward remote control by stipulating rules for leadership, trying to make all groups fit a pattern. In most groups there is someone who leads naturally. In others there is no need for anyone to dominate. But most need a leader, in which case he needs to be one who:
*Understands the informal nature of the group instead of seeking to control conversation as
though he is "in the chair".
*Does not think he has the monopoly on hearing the voice of
God, expressing his opinion as though it is the word of God.
*Does not see himself as the teacher trying to make every
meeting a bible study, or a teaching session, but a sharing
experience.
*Does not think it is wasting time for a member to describe at
length some personal problem that is uniquely his or hers.
*Is not embarrassed when a member confesses sin.
*Is not shocked when a member expresses some doubt about
his faith, but instead comes alongside that member to approach
the problem from his point of view.
*Will not come down on someone like "a ton of bricks" whose
interpretation of scripture differs from the orthodox.
*Does not want to turn every meeting into a mini church
service by insisting on a time of "praise and worship" and
"reading the Word", but is instead able to let the Holy Spirit
direct the conversation. It is much easier to follow a traditional
pattern of proceedings than to listen to the Spirit.
*Does not insist on "starting the meeting" with a song or a
prayer but instead realises that the fellowship starts when the
first two have arrived, and have engaged in conversation which
may provide the theme for the meeting.
*Does not throw out informality because one of the group abuses the privileges, but
makes room for mistakes to happen, as they happen in the best of families.
*Recognises that genuine love is the essence of the Spirit of Christ.
Wolfgang Simson has written a very comprehensive book on Houses Churches entitled "Houses That Changed The World" which I heartily recommend. In my opinion every pastor should have one as a reference book. In a section on leadership he stresses the fact that the function of leadership is to empower others.
| HOW TO EMPOWER OTHERS | HOW TO EXPLOIT OTHERS |
| let them function believe in them delegate authority partner with God's plan for them invest in them love them and say so give them what you have discuss with them spend time with them freely give them the keys NOW serve them praise them transfer masterhood to them |
give them functions make them believe in you require submission make them part of your plans use them love the task more than people take what they have preach at them require appointments hold them until you retire let them serve you accept their praise graciously demonstrate masterhood to them |
2. There needs to be a fair degree of HOMOGENEITY AND COMPATIBILITY because conversation will naturally major on the lives and interests of those in the group, e.g. a group of medical people may find it hard to listen to the farmers in their group talking about farming. An academic group of people may not be very interested in the subjects that businesspeople want to talk about, and visa versa.
3. There needs to be a very high degree of FAITHFULNESS AND TRUST. To be truly "members one of another", each must have enough confidence in the rest to know that the confidences that they share will not be divulged. Failures can be shared because, as with coaching in a sports team, judgements are made with a view to a positive outcome and mutual growth.
4. There is a need for SPONTANEITY IN THE FORMATION of the groups, letting people choose those with whom they wish to relate, because people will only be transparent with people they know well enough to trust.
5. INFORMALITY is the key. Fixed programs are likely to smother the frank introduction of issues that have arisen during the week, requiring prayer and advice. Planned bible study could smother freedom. Reference to scripture needs to have a practical application, rather than merely to extend bible knowledge.
6. The central theme underpinning all conversation is:
"How can we enhance the Kingdom of God in our daily lives", and
"How can we be more effective as salt and light at home, work and play?"
If this is not recognised and brought to mind from time to time the group can become introspective and merely self-serving. It is, of course, self-serving, but as a means to an end, not an end in itself.
HOW ARE THESE MENTORING GROUPS FORMED?
The best groups are formed spontaneously when one person, feeling the need of fellowship, approaches others to meet for that purpose, making their own choices regarding whom they invite. A pastor or someone else may suggest, encourage and facilitate such a course, but the choice of participants is best left to the group.
Above all, the temptation to standardise the structure and conduct of the meeting with rules and regulations, needs to be avoided. Instead, members must consciously endeavour to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in making their contribution, endeavouring not to become too introspective, ride their 'hobby- horses' or dominate the conversation. Sensitivity is the key word. It is not always evident and members must not be offended if it is suggested that they are not being sensitive.
These ideas are not all original. There is a world-wide acceptance of mentoring today and we would encourage churches to experiment with this concept. In the small groups described above we are mentoring each other in order to help each other hear the voice of God for ourselves. A mentor may make it clear what the bible says and what other men and women of God have found out for themselves. He may even express an opinion, but we have to be careful not to play God for each other. The whole purpose is to improve our hearing of the voice of God.
HEARING THE VOICE OF GOD
In the final analysis the whole purpose of church in any form and of our relationships with each other is to constantly grow in spiritual maturity by hearing for ourselves what God is saying in any given situation. In this process, however, we all need to listen to what our trusted friends have to say, because God may be speaking through them. That is why Paul says " Submit one to another".
Many Christians in the present church set-up are attending services and meetings regularly but never being given the chance to relate to other members of the Body of Christ with enough intimacy to grow in the knowledge of God's will. They remain in immaturity all their lives. They may even come forward regularly for prayer in the services because they have never learned to hear the voice of God for themselves, nor do they relate to any others who could mentor them. Others come under the strong discipleship of the pastor or another leader and lean on him or her heavily for advice, expecting to hear them pronounce what is the will of God for them, when God wants to speak to them directly. There are pastors and other leaders who enjoy this adulation and encourage it. When one belongs to a small group both of these problems can be avoided.